Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Single Parenthood


We live in a society that frowns upon the existence of single parents. There is a bad stigma that is attached to people who chose to go into parenthood alone. Our culture, in particular and our traditions demands that in order to be called one, a family must have a mother and a father in order to be considered complete.

Well, I beg to differ.

Much as I agree that there is a much better hope for a family with its core nucleus intact, it does not mean that this maxim is always true. Times have changed and sad to say, we have to learn to accept that there are instances where single parenthood is the only right path to follow.

It is one of the harsh consequences, I think of the path that modern society created for us and no matter the objections of unmarried priests and other misguided fools who still rave at the merit of old values that are so misplaced nowadays, it remains a fact of life.

Men are the ones to blame more, I think. Despite what many would say, the salvation of a complete marriage lies in the hands of the males. So many of the problems that make traditional marriage unpalatable stem from the twisted morals of modern men. They are either immature fools or callous jerks, byproducts of industrialization and the unplanned modernization of norms.

How many men delude themselves that they are Don Juan de Marco?

How many surrender to life’s challenges to seek the dazed stupor of the bottle or the needle?

How many succumb to the harsh realities of living and escape into the shoes of fools? More than I can count. I am a man myself and I see the truths that has befallen the sons of Adam.

Ninety nine percent of men are philanderers (directly or indirectly, this is true). It is perhaps attributed to the death of chivalry and the rise of women in society (that would probably merit a few slaps from women’s lib groups, but it wouldn’t make it any less truthful).

Simply put, no man in his right mind would have the will to ignore a raised skirt. While many men would vehemently deny such statement for the benefit of the opposite sex who still cling to the old values of marital fidelity, this is common truth, usually denied.

Even when many such encounters remain as extrapolations of the mind and remain as forbidden aspirations of wayward imagination, men are guilty. For even in the absence of the actual act, the mere fact that it has been given thought, is undeniable. And when the man violates the sanctity of boundaries to actually act out his passions, then hell breaks loose. Once that boundary is breached there's no turning back and the damage that's done is irreparable. 

People would say that in such cases both the man and the woman are to blame, but I must disagree. While some of the daughters of Eve are temptresses, the ones who acts and decide to breach that final barrier that goes into forbidden territory lies in the hands of Adam. One may blame the loose morality of women who ignore the basic decency of their womanhood in search for a quick fix or monetary gain, but ultimately the decision to indulge in that transgression lies in the pants of men.

Men today are fickle, weak creatures. The hara-kiri gentleman of yesteryears have all but faded into the pages of history books.

The times are perhaps to blame. The sudden explosion of the world’s population has restricted the ability of men to be breadwinners. Eighty percent of men live below what is considered tenable living. The inability to fulfill that traditional role and the addition of more mouths to feed can bring even the most sturdy of souls to its breaking point. Let's face it, in most parts of the world, the proceeds of an honest day’s work cannot feed a family. Gone are the days when the fruits of one’s toil is considered enough. Today, one must either be a slave or a debtor in order to live, a scenario which no self respecting man accepts. So it is no surprise that men resort to drowning their incapacities in the solace of vices.

Men are proud, fickle creatures. When they realize that they cannot live up to their expectations of themselves, they drown. Even the best of us are not spared. In fact the better one is perceived to be, the greater their possibility of breaking. And it is not a pretty sight.

Of the drunkards and addicts and gamblers out there, a great number are rotten to begin with, products of dysfunctional families and bad decisions. But among them also lie the forsaken, men who realize that their dreams could not be realized in their lifetimes, men who feel ashamed at going home to a family whose dreams they could not support; honest, hard working men trampled by society in it's never-ending search for greater profits.

One might consider them weak for seeking vices to dull their senses. It is a tragedy for sure. Their numbers grow daily. This is a fact. (so please don’t drive sensible men to marry for the sake of marriage. More often than not, particularly if they are of the thinking kind, they realize that it is much better to deny oneself the pleasures of family than to flirt with the sure disaster of not being able to provide. It would drive them mad.)

It is tragic, that such times are upon us and sometimes the only way to fulfill that emptiness in our hearts for a family is to plod on it alone.

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