Friday, May 27, 2011

Kenka...

The problem with our culture is that there is a perceived distance that must never be crossed when dealing with other people. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you can practically talk about anything and kid each other and tell unsolicited advice without any repercussions save for bruised egos when you get to excesses.

If you at least know each other and say na ‘may pinagsamahan na kahit konti’, you still can console each other up to a certain point.

The conundrum comes when you have an acquaintance, or someone whom you could be friends with or be closer with and you are limited with the scope of what you can say. I mean, what can you say that won’t make her drift away or destroy the seed of connection that is fragilely held between both of you? 

But things do call up to you, you know. You read a small snippet of a post on their walls and you get the feeling that they need a word of encouragement or something else. And you debate it on yourself whether they would consider it meddling if you posted something or whether they would take offense if you do. And if you don’t answer you get the feeling that you are failing them somehow.

You also wonder if they think that you are stalking them, which isn’t the case. Of the more than a thousand facebook posts and twitter feeds that friends and acquaintances make daily which are public, your eye just latches in to some of them. Is it instinct that allows you to sense it? Is it divinely inspired? Or are you simply imagining things?

Sometimes, I wish I am a priest or some holy man, you know. That way, I can say, ‘Girl, what ails you? Is everything alright? Are you okay?’ But I’m not and I am also at the crossroads when it comes to religion and I feel that I would be a hypocrite if I even attempt to dress concern with religious dogma. That would be punching low and a lie.

So I resort to what I do best and write this.

It ain’t for ulterior motives but just my way of speaking when the voice is silenced and the protocol of communication suspect. It might be judged as meddling or maybe not, only time can tell that down the road.

Life is chaotic. It is an unpredictable scary place. We search for anchors to steady us in the violent upheavals that happen in our lives and sometimes when we think that we have found one, it is taken away from us. The sturdy wall we thought we could rely against as we journey forward crumbles on our grasp and we are left clutching at the rubble.

We ask ourselves. How do we go on? How do we live? What happens to us now? So many questions, so few answers to give… I don’t have answers.

Somehow, we survive. With the many unpredictable things we thought we couldn’t handle, we somehow find a way. The providence of God? I would say yes, coupled with your resolve and your own strength…

 You’ve done well… and you will always do so…

Life, however, is unrelenting in its challenges and burdens pile up and the shoulders eventually get weary. We question ourselves if we can muster the strength to go on…

I wish I could say that yes, life will get better but that would be presumptuous of me. There is a limit to optimism and the reality of this world is far too fickle to predict. So what I can do is to give you an imaginary pat on your shoulders and say this.

You have done well, sister! I salute you for all the things you’ve done, for all the accomplishments you’ve made, for the journey you’ve made so far…

Haan ko nga maibaga nu mayat ti umay, nu ti rigat ket maikkat, wenno ti sakit ti panunot nga ilelemmeng iti nakarekep nga kuwarto ket masulbar. Haan ko nga malappedan ti luwa nga agtedted, baka han nga siyak ti akin lugar ijay nga mangaramid. Ngem dika agdanag. Ti biag ket atiddog, ken ti Dios ket makaawat. Ited na iti annak na nga agkasapulan ti kasapulan da..

It is frustrating to not know the appropriate response you can give and I am a fool for such and I am even a bigger fool for not actually having the courage to risk being a fool.

But you are doing good.

If this article is inspired by a Greater Power to reach you, or whether it’s just another human soul empathizing with another human soul, I don’t know…

But you are doing well, sister and I give you this pat on your back and say that you are doing well…


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